Embracing the Light
by Hot elf
Summary: When Cullen notices his beloved Inquisitor's budding interest in Ser Barris, his first impulse is to sacrifice his own happiness for hers. But Ylva Svarahsdotten is always good for a surprise, and it turns out she has a completely different solution to the problem in mind...
1. Chapter 1

Ylva wiggled out of her breastband, tossing it over her shoulder with a silent curse. She stretched luxuriantly, savouring the feeling of freedom. _Best moment of the day_. The tight bindings were a necessity when wearing armour, but that didn't mean she had to like them.

Wandering over to her bed, she pulled her thin linen nightdress over her head. Cullen should be here soon. As if on cue, she heard his familiar knock on the door, crisp and sharp.

"Come in." She smiled at him as he entered.

He looked tired, as usual, and he, too, sighed with relief when she helped him out of his heavy coat and armour. Approvingly, Ylva ran her hand over his broad back, tracing the muscles, admiring the soft pale sheen of his skin. _All mine_. It hadn't been easy to seduce him, but by the Lady, had it ever been worth it. She'd known instinctively that there was passion underneath that prim, slightly prudish demeanour of his, and he'd proven her right over and over since they'd first made love.

Tonight he looked preoccupied, though, his jaw working furiously and his eyes wary, as he turned to face her. "Ylva. We need to talk."

"So serious." She tried to smooth the worry lines from his forehead, but he shrugged her off, looking grim and also… sad? That was when she realized it was a bigger deal than she'd assumed. _What's going on in that stubborn head of his?_

"What is it, love?" Ylva made an effort not to sound impatient.

He sighed, so deeply that the whole of his powerful frame seemed to vibrate. "It's about Ser Barris. And you."

Ylva raised an eyebrow, keeping her face carefully neutral, but under her cool mask, her mind was racing. He'd noticed, of course he'd noticed. Cullen wasn't blind, and he knew her well enough to recognize the barely hidden desire in the way she'd been looking at the young Templar. "Yes? What about him?"

"I'm not blind, Ylva." His words echoed her thoughts so exactly that she had to hold back a smile despite the seriousness of the occasion. "The expression in your eyes, the way you smile at him, flirt with him… it's more than obvious that you're falling for him. And he wants you, too, anyone can see that. Anyway…" He took a deep breath, and finally faced her, and what she saw in his eyes nearly made her cry out. Such a world of pain, and so much fierce determination at the same time. "I've come to tell you that if he's what you want, I won't stand in your way."

" _What_?" Ylva fought the strong urge to shake him. "In Korth's name, Cullen, what is that supposed to _mean_?"

"Didn't I make myself clear?" There was the tiniest hint of sharpness in his voice, but his hands were shaking badly. "The two of you are perfect for each other. Barris… He's young, he's whole, he's everything a girl could hope for. He can be everything that I never-" He broke off. "How could I possibly stand between you and a happy future at his side?"

For a moment, Ylva was speechless. Did he really think- _Of course he does_ , a small inner voice whispered in her ear. _That's what they taught him, all his life: honour, sacrifice, always do the noble thing._ The realization of what he was doing took her breath away. How could anyone possibly be so selfless? And at the same time, it made her angry to see him like this, wildly, irrationally angry.

Forcing herself to speak calmly, she took hold of his hand. "Cullen. Look, I won't deny that Barris is damnably attractive, and I may have fantasized about him once or twice. But that's all there is." He didn't look convinced, and she sighed. "Tell me, do _you_ still want _me_?"

He bit his lip, looking scared and shaken. "Of course I do. You know I do. But I also…" He swallowed hard. "I want you to be happy."

"And you honestly think I'd be happier without you?" Ylva shook her head. "You are an idiot."

He opened his mouth to contradict her, but she shushed him with a quick gesture. "I'll never be happy without you. I love you."

"But Barris…" He had that stubborn look again. "He adores you. And if-"

"Cullen!" Again, she had to struggle to hide her irritation. "Could you just listen to me for a moment instead of being all ready to throw our relationship to the wind? It's not as if there are no other options."

"Other options?" If anything, Cullen's frown deepened. "What in Andraste's name do you mean?"

Ylva put on her most winning smile. "Well, there is something that would make me very happy indeed…"

* * *

"Maker, this is crazy." Cullen couldn't stop himself from saying the words, no matter how hard he tried.

He'd been flabbergasted when he'd heard Ylva's suggestion. "Is this a common thing among the Avvar then?" He'd cleared his throat awkwardly.

Cullen knew the importance of keeping an open mind where their relationship was concerned. Since the day when Ylva Svarahsdotten had whirled into his life, like a cool, fresh wind from the wilderness of the Frostback Basin, he'd learned the hard way that his expectations of how things ought to be done didn't necessarily align with hers.

Ylva had laughed and shrugged. "I have no idea what _the Avvar_ think about it. All I know is that my mother took her husbands and lovers as she pleased, without worrying what people would think. And yes, there was more than one lover, on several occasions."

"More than one. Right." His throat had suddenly felt tight. "So what you're saying is…"

"I wouldn't force it on you, of course." Ylva's tone had been light, but her eyes had been full of love. "If you feel you can't do it, we'll forget about it and I promise I won't look twice at Ser Barris again. You're far more important to me than anything the three of us could come up with together."

And in the end, that had been what decided Cullen to play along: the way she'd made it clear that it was _his_ decision, that she would stay at his side, regardless of whether he agreed or not. It was completely up to him, a gift freely given, and how could he have withheld it from her, if she wanted it so much?

Yes, it had been meant as a favour for her, for his beloved. And yet, here he was, in their bedroom with her _and Barris_ , and it was unlike anything he'd imagined. Far more exciting, for one thing. He'd done nothing but watch them so far, but he couldn't recall ever having been this aroused.

Right before his eyes, Ylva was writhing on the bedsheets, her gorgeous strong body completely bare. And between her legs, Barris was kneeling, shirtless, with his cock straining against his thin linen pants, and the amount of smooth, dark skin on display was enough to make anyone question their sexual preferences.

Not that Cullen had ever fooled himself in that regard. A youth spent in the Templar barracks had taught him the attraction inherent in a well-shaped male body, and yes, there had been no shortage of nightly fumblings back then, desperate and eager. So the aching need he was feeling right now to _touch_ Barris, to feel him and caress him, wasn't completely unexpected.

What he hadn't counted on was what it would do to him to see the two of them together, Barris' hands on her thighs, spreading them wide, Ylva's face flushed with lust as he bent down to taste her, her small cry when his questing tongue met her flesh. There was no way Cullen could hold back the moan escaping his throat.

"Cullen. Come here." Ylva turned to smile at him, reaching towards him to pull him in for a kiss, and he complied willingly, drinking her sighs from her lips.

Barris paused for a moment to watch them both, a slow smile spreading over his face. "Commander. Are you going to join us?"

Cullen almost corrected him, almost told him to lay off the title in bed, but then he became aware of the extra spike of pleasure it sent through him to hear Barris say it. And the way he did it, respectfully, with just the tiniest hint of insolent teasing in his green eyes – that was beyond hot, a challenge Cullen just couldn't resist.

He shuddered all over. "Do you want me to?"

Ylva made an enthusiastic noise of agreement. And Barris smiled again, that lazy, hungry smile that made Cullen tremble deep inside. He wondered what exactly Ylva had told Barris, how she had persuaded him to accept her terms for this night. Nothing would happen behind Cullen's back, he'd be free to call a halt any time, and there would be no repeat performance unless all three of them agreed on it. Barris must have been desperate to put up with all those rules.

 _Desperate… or very sure of himself_ , Cullen realized. From what he'd seen so far, Barris was confident to the point of cockiness of his ability to please Ylva. And not at all unhappy at the prospect of having Cullen in the mix as well. Maker! What had he gotten himself into?

Still… Barris hadn't touched him yet. Clearly, that particular step would be his to initiate. Bending down, Cullen kissed Ylva again, hard and deep, to gather his courage, and she arched up into his mouth with a breathless whimper. When he straightened up again, he met Barris' eyes, and the other man made a small noise, something between a sigh and a moan, his tongue darting out to lick those full, luscious lips.

And suddenly, Cullen couldn't wait a moment longer. Extending a trembling hand, he ran it all over that smooth bare chest, keeping his touch as light as a feather. It felt good, more than good, silky skin over taut muscle, so warm, so strong, so decidedly _male_. Barris inhaled sharply, his eyes half closed, and when he leaned into his touch, Cullen threw all caution to the wind and kissed him.

It was a strange kiss, all careful and tentative at first, but turning rough and fierce within moments, all tongue and teeth, a struggle for dominance more than anything else. In the end it was Barris who yielded, letting him take the lead, but Cullen didn't fool himself. The man had far too much spirit to relinquish control to him completely, for all his apparent deference.

Ylva had watched it all, her eyes huge and dark in the soft candlelight. "By Korth's might, you're so hot together."

Cullen shivered, suddenly aware that she had stripped off his shirt while they were kissing. Barris' hand was firm on his back, and he could feel the callouses on his palm, acquired from long familiarity with a sword grip, mirror images of his own. He'd sparred with Barris more than once, since the remaining Templars had joined the Inquisition, and he had nothing but respect for his skill. Now that Barris was here in their bed, half naked and magnificent, it was easy to see where the strength in those blows came from, how he had managed to keep fighting all through the never ending waves of attacking Red Templars.

Ylva huffed impatiently, and Barris responded with alacrity, returning his attention to her and pulling her between the two of them, into a loose embrace. She had her back to Cullen, but he didn't mind. It was a view he cherished: the long, pale line of her neck; the graceful curve of her back; her blonde curls flowing over her shoulders like captured sunlight.

Burying his face in her hair, he put both hands around her waist, holding her tight while Barris tilted her head back and kissed her deeply, with just enough force to make her whimper with delight. Cullen felt a twinge of jealousy. How did Barris know how to kiss her, how could he possibly have already learned what she liked best? Unless…. Had he watched them making out, up on the battlements when they had taken advantage of the late hour, hoping no one would notice? The thought was more exciting than it probably should be.

Glancing down over Ylva's shoulder, Cullen could see Barris' large hands cupping both her breasts and the sight was enough to make him dizzy. Slowly, he worked his own hand between their bodies, gasping when he brushed against Barris' smooth hard flesh in passing. He hadn't even noticed when the man's pants had come off. His own breeches were beginning to feel decidedly uncomfortable, and he took a moment to loosen the laces and pull them down, just far enough to allow his cock to nestle in the cleft of Ylva's perfect ass.

Then he let his hand trail lower, parting her legs and dipping two fingers between her curls, and oh Maker, she was sopping wet, more than ready for him. _Or for Barris..._ For a moment Cullen was sincerely torn on how to proceed, because part of him wanted to take her right away, to establish without a doubt that she was _his_ first and foremost. But at the same time, the mere thought of watching Barris with her was enough to make a hot spike of lust travel all the way down his spine.

There was only one solution to his dilemma. Gathering Ylva even closer in his arms, he breathed a kiss next to her ear. "Who do you want first, love?"

* * *

Barris held his breath. His heart was beating wildly in anticipation, because Maker, he wanted her so badly he could barely see straight. And by now, he was so worked up that he wasn't even sure he was going to last long enough to satisfy her. It was all so mind-blowing, so exciting that he was very close to losing control.

He hadn't thought of himself as a man who would ever willingly share his lover. Barris had never believed in abstinence, and for most of his career, there'd been plenty of women and occasional men willing to join him in his bed. Fellow Templars, lay sisters, bored merchants' wives – few had been able to resist his looks and charm. He'd enjoyed it all, without ever getting too attached. There was no point, with his future tied to the Order and its rigorous demands.

But the moment he had first set sight on Ylva, everything had changed. It had been in Val Royeaux, shortly after Lord Seeker Lucius had started his long descent into madness. She hadn't been the Inquisitor yet, just an Avvar girl from the mountains, whose followers claimed she was the Herald of Andraste, and she alone could heal the Breach in the Sky. Barris had been sceptical back then, reserving his judgement, but even so, he'd been struck by her beauty and courage. The way she'd stood up to Lucius, refusing to cower, the fury flashing in her ice-blue eyes… He hadn't been able to stop thinking of her ever since.

Eventually, she had shown up at Therinfal, her golden hair framing her face like a crown of pure light as she'd mowed down Red Templar horrors with her sword, gracefully dancing out of the reach of their claws. He'd watched in awe, and ever since, he'd been utterly and completely lost. He had thrown his lot in with her without the slightest hesitation. Even if things had been different and the Order hadn't surrendered to corruption, he'd have left and joined the Inquisition. How could he have resisted, when given the chance to serve with her, to get closer to her, to win her heart?

But then he'd found she was with Commander Cullen, a man he'd admired for as long as he could remember, and he'd resigned himself to worshipping her from afar. Not without regret, but it had seemed inevitable and, at least that way, he could stay in her proximity. He'd excelled in every single mission the Inquisition had assigned him to, both because it was second nature for him to do his best and because he'd wanted to please her, needed to please her. And every time she'd smiled at him, every time she'd looked at him with approval, his heart had been torn between pain and elation.

Never in his wildest dreams had he expected he would actually get to have her. Yet now here he was, and she was looking at him, her eyes feverish with want, her amazing body cradled in Cullen's strong arms, and both he and the Commander were waiting with bated breath for her answer.

Ylva whined, almost desperately. "I don't even care. Just, either of you, just… Please!"

Gathering his courage, Barris met Cullen's eyes in a mute plea, almost shuddering with relief when the other man gave a tiny nod. And then he was there, between her strong thighs, spreading them wide, and Cullen was still holding her, still so close that Barris could feel his warmth and breathe in the scent of his arousal, and it was almost too much.

Taking deep, focussed breaths, he pushed inside Ylva's willing body, and sweet Andraste, she felt so _good_! So warm, so tight, so perfect, as if she'd been made for him. Behind her, Cullen groaned, deep in his throat, his hands tightening on her hips. And that, too, was hot, more than hot. Barris had no idea where the thought came from, but suddenly he was glad they both were here, not just Ylva, but Cullen as well. Because this was better than anything he had imagined.

It was heaven.

* * *

For all her bluster, Ylva had never been with two men at the same time. But now she was trapped between two warm, firm bodies, and it was sheer bliss. Barris felt just as good inside her as she had hoped, all new and exciting. She had always enjoyed that first time with a new lover, getting to know their bodies and learning their habits, and Cullen's warmth behind her made everything so much better. And then Barris propped himself up on his massive arms and began to move, his hips rolling against her in a perfect sinuous motion. At the same time, Cullen's hands found her nipples, pinching them tightly, and she lost all capacity to think.

There was nothing but heat, flowing through her veins in a steady stream, heat and friction and a pleasure so intense she was close to blacking out. Barris' thick cock, hitting all the right spots inside her; his increasingly frantic thrusts as he got closer to completion; Cullen's voice breathing words of encouragement in her ear… It was intense, and wonderful, and it took her no time at all to reach her peak. She came so hard she screamed, and Barris' eyes widened as he followed her, pushing so deep inside her that it hurt. But it was the good kind of pain and she arched up to meet him, eager to take as much of him as she could. He was trembling all over, his eyes closed, and she was almost sure she could _feel_ him pour himself inside her.

He pulled back with shocking swiftness, and before she knew what was happening, Cullen had already turned her around, thrusting deep inside her in one smooth move, whining when he felt how wet she was. She tried to push him back, because it was too much and she was too sensitive right after coming. But he wouldn't have it, just pinned her down, his eyes full of a savage greed that was as thrilling as it was scary.

"Cullen, please!" She almost had to shout the words, but when they registered, he stopped immediately, looking ashamed of his impetuousness. "Just… give me a moment."

He nodded in silence, his lips set in a thin line as he mustered what control he had to give her a little time. As soon as she nodded, his hips snapped against her again, moving with single-minded focus, his jaw clenched tightly. And now that she was ready for him, it was amazing, to be rushed to a second climax so soon, every nerve in her body still tingling from the buzz of the first.

Barris had recovered sufficiently to hold her when she started to thrash, and when she was close, really close, he slipped a hand between them and touched her, just once, but with perfect assurance. This time, Ylva actually lost track of her surroundings, her vision going white and her whole body convulsing with lust. Cullen whined in her ear and she knew he was there with her, just as overwhelmed.

It took her a long time to come back to her senses afterward, and when she did, she clung to both of them, unwilling to let go. Two strong, capable men taking care of her, holding her; their arms around her a bulwark against the world outside – as far as Ylva was concerned, it didn't get any better than this. They both were relaxed now, their powerful bodies heavy and limp. Neither of them seemed to feel any urge to leave.

When Barris tentatively reached out to ruffle Cullen's thick hair, he responded with a shy smile. Both men looked happy and sated. _Good_. Ylva smiled to herself. If this should turn out to be a permanent arrangement, she certainly wasn't going to complain.

* * *

 _Huggles and thanks to my wonderful beta suilven. :)  
_


	2. Chapter 2

Barris was confused, and that was not a state of mind he was accustomed to.

Three nights ago, the Inquisitor had invited him into the bed she shared with Commander Cullen, and it had been everything he could have hoped for. Ylva had been hot and sweet and willing, and the Commander… Barris felt a shiver race down his spine at the memory. Cullen's lips on his, that delectable little scar, so soft under the questing touch of his tongue. _And his eyes, Maker, his eyes!_ So much passion, so much gentleness, and so much pain, too, lingering just below the surface. Barris couldn't help but wonder what it was that Cullen had seen, to cause so much sadness.

Barris had pretty much come to terms with the fact that he was completely and utterly lost where Ylva was concerned. But now, he realized, he was falling for Cullen as well, and he didn't know what to make of this sudden epiphany.

He'd hardly been able to take his eyes off the man for the past few days. Everything about Cullen was driving him mad: that little swagger of his when he stepped up to the war table; the way he'd rub his neck if he was embarrassed; the steely look in his eyes when he was planning an attack. And more than once, he'd caught Cullen watching him in turn, hazel eyes lingering on his mouth in a way that was positively indecent. The tension between them was growing with each passing day, and Barris wasn't sure how much longer he could stand it.

Ylva, on the other hand, seemed bright and cheerful, and completely oblivious to what was going on between the two men. Or was she really? Last night, she'd caught his eye at dinner and winked at him, just once, so briefly that he wasn't sure he hadn't imagined it.

Either way, he had to do something about the situation. It was beginning to affect his focus, and it was only a matter of time until somebody noticed. If Seeker Pentaghast caught him daydreaming, he'd never hear the end of it.

And yes, he was dreaming, all of the time. There was no denying it – he wanted more. He wanted to be with them again, with both of them. He wanted Ylva, wanted to have her in any way imaginable, and he wanted Cullen to look on, to join in, to share the pleasure. Blight it, he wanted Cullen, too, though he wasn't sure yet how far he wanted to go.

But he'd promised Ylva that the decision would be Cullen's, and his alone. She'd been very clear about it. And yet… She hadn't actually said he couldn't speed up that decision, had she?

As he was crossing the courtyard, Barris glanced up at the darkening sky and made up his mind. _Now_. He had to try, at least.

He almost lost his courage when he was on Cullen's doorstep, but Barris had never been a coward. Taking a deep breath, he raised his fist and knocked, as sharply and decisively as he could.

* * *

Cullen raised his head with a frown. Who would come to see him at this late hour? Jim was about to leave, gathering up today's paperwork, and none of the servants would ever knock in such an imperious manner. It wasn't Ylva, that much was certain. She had never grasped the concept of knocking, or indeed of privacy and personal space.

"Come in." He straightened himself up to his full height, and he was glad he'd done so when he saw who it was.

 _Barris_. Barris, out of armour, dressed in plain leathers that made him look younger, softer, less bulky. _And even more gorgeous_. The leather pants were clinging tightly to Barris' shapely thighs and his simple white shirt was tied loosely enough to offer tantalizing glimpses of dark skin. Against his will, Cullen swallowed hard, doing his best to school his features into something approximating professionalism.

"Ser Barris." Thank the Maker, his voice sounded normal, despite the dryness of his lips, despite the sudden tightness in his throat.

"Commander Cullen." Barris, too, appeared unconcerned, but on closer inspection, Cullen noticed that his hands were trembling. _Is he nervous?_ "A word in private, please?"

"Of course." Cullen nodded at Jim, who hurriedly took his leave.

The door fell shut behind him. They were alone.

The big desk seemed too much of a barrier for a private conversation, so Cullen stepped around it, leaning back against it in an ostensibly relaxed posture. Barris chose the same moment to come forward, though, and suddenly they were facing each other, so close they were almost touching. Cullen had to clear his throat to hide his confusion.

"What is it you wanted to talk about?" His eyes met Barris' bright green ones. _Like emeralds_. He swallowed again.

"I…" Barris paused, wetting his lips with his tongue, and Cullen couldn't help staring. His heart was racing, and his palms felt sweaty. _What does he want?_

"Commander." Barris sounded rough. "I can't stop thinking about… about what we did that night. I've tried, but to no avail. And I know I have no right, but-" Without further ado, he dropped to his knees, right in front of Cullen, who gasped hard. "I just want you to know that I'd do anything for you, Commander. Anything you want."

"Sweet Andraste, Barris." Cullen knew he was blushing; he felt the heat spread all over his neck and face. "You can't-"

"Anything," Barris repeated, placing a hand lightly on Cullen's thigh.

It was the barest hint of a touch, but to Cullen, it felt burning hot, and his cock twitched so hard he feared it was visible even through the thick leather of his breeches.

"Please." It shouldn't have been possible for a grown man to sound so sultry, and for a moment, Cullen worried that this wasn't actually Barris, but a desire demon, a vision of lust sent to tempt him.

But surely, no demon could feel so _real_ , no demon could ever regard him with such a complex mix of emotions: desire, pride, tenderness, and the tiniest hint of guilty shame. If Barris had smiled at him, that cocky grin he remembered so well, Cullen could have pushed him away. But he wasn't smiling; he was dead serious, staring at Cullen's crotch with such undisguised hunger that he couldn't help himself.

Cupping Barris' cheek in his hand, he ran his thumb over those full lips, and Barris opened up immediately, sucking it in with greedy abandonment. Cullen moaned helplessly. _Yes. More._

"Cullen, _please_." Barris' tone was almost desperate, and his hand was hovering over the laces of Cullen's pants, but he wouldn't touch them without permission.

"Andraste preserve me." Cullen was shaking all over, and if he didn't do something now, he was probably going to come in his pants like a green boy. "Yes. Go ahead."

Barris didn't have to be asked twice. Moments later, his eager hands met bare skin, and then he was drawing a deep, almost reverent breath, before wrapping his soft full lips around Cullen's pulsing cock.

" _Barris_!" Cullen barely recognized his own voice.

Barris ignored him, concentrating on his task, and he definitely knew what he was doing. Within moments, Cullen was struggling to keep his hips still, fighting in vain against the noises that passed his lips, small whimpering noises, incoherent pleas for more. Barris' tongue was dancing all over his flesh, seeking out his most sensitive places and fluttering against him, so maddeningly light and teasing that Cullen had to hold on to his shoulders for balance.

And just when Cullen was sure it couldn't get any better, he pulled back and licked a long, broad swathe all the way up from the root to the tip, and Cullen actually cried out, too overcome to stop himself. Barris hummed softly in his throat, as if to soothe him, and then his mouth was back, hot and wet and eager, and he added the tiniest bit of suction, and-

The unmistakable noise of a door falling shut made Barris freeze in motion and Cullen's head snap up.

"Don't stop on my account, Barris." The deep, satisfied purr of Ylva's voice came both as a shock and a relief. "I do enjoy the view."

Barris hummed again, and Cullen cursed helplessly under his breath, even as he felt the flush return to his face. He didn't dare look into Ylva's face, because having her there, watching Barris reduce him to a puddle of want… It was both embarrassing and incredibly exciting. The excitement was fast winning over, though.

Completely ignoring his discomfiture, Ylva stepped closer, placing a hand lightly on Barris' shoulder. Barris shivered once, but he didn't stop what he was doing. Ylva couldn't take her eyes off him, and Cullen couldn't blame her. He himself was just as mesmerized by the sight of Barris down there, his lips so red they looked bruised, his eyes hooded, his hand on Cullen's thigh to hold him in place.

Cullen's stomach muscles were aching with the effort of holding back, but at the same time he didn't want to come yet, wanted it to last just a moment longer, just a tiny bit. But it was too much. He tried to warn Barris, tried to pull back, but the other man wouldn't have it. Barris' warm hand settled on his hip, pulling him in even deeper, and then he _sucked_ , once, hard and greedy and Cullen gave in. He came with a shout, came so hard he swayed on his feet and had to hold on to Ylva to avoid falling. And she was there, lithe and strong, keeping him steady until he could breathe again.

Glancing down, he found Barris kissing the tip of his softening cock in an unexpectedly sweet gesture, licking his lips in quiet satisfaction.

"Damn it, Barris. That was…" He took a deep breath, looking up into Ylva's smiling face. "What now?"

Her smile widened. "Well, since Barris has been so very obliging…" She ran an affectionate hand over Barris' shaved head. "Maybe _he_ ought to decide what he wants next."

Barris hesitated, but when he spoke, his voice was husky with need. "I want your mouth on me, Ylva. Please." He tilted his head back to look up at her, and then his gaze flickered over to Cullen's face for an instant. "And I want _him_ to watch."

For once, Ylva seemed lost for words, and it made Cullen smile. "All right. But not here." He tilted his head in the direction of the ladder leading up to his loft. "We need a proper bed. Besides, I don't want anyone else walking in on us."

Ylva pouted. "Aw, don't be so prim and proper. Although…" She stretched lasciviously, making Barris groan. "A bed sounds nice."

* * *

 _Yes_. A nice, big bed. That was what they needed. Ylva would never admit it, because she loved teasing Cullen about it, but she adored the loft. She loved to lie on the thick furs covering his bed and to stare up through the hole in the ceiling at the clear night sky. It was the closest thing to home in all of Skyhold.

Her clothes came off as fast as she could make them, and then she watched the men undress, watched as they both joined her naked on the bed. Barris knelt near the headboard, shaking with impatience when she bent down to breathe a kiss on the tip of his cock. He was lovely, thick and dark and hard, and he tasted amazing, all salt and musk and the faintest hint of herbal soap. Moaning happily, Ylva settled down on her hands and knees and took him in deeper, as far as she could without choking.

Barris inhaled sharply, his right hand tightening in her hair as he muttered something under his breath. She glanced up, trying to catch his eyes, but he was staring over her shoulder, and he looked almost feverish. _Cullen. Of course._ It was hard to hide her smug satisfaction.

She had patiently watched the two of them over the past few days, guessing correctly that neither of them would take well to being pushed. But the attraction was there. It had been almost tangible during their night together, and briefly she wondered what had finally caused them to act on it. Not that it mattered. All that counted was that they were here now, both of them, with her.

Barris' cock was hot and heavy on her tongue, and now she felt the familiar warmth of Cullen's hand on her back, stroking down her spine. She arched into his touch and he chuckled softly. Parting her legs, he slipped two fingers deep into her heat, moving them in lazy, shallow thrusts until she clenched hard around them.

"Ylva…" His voice was shaky, but then she felt his hand in her hair, firmly pulling her back. "Enough."

Barris whined at the loss of her mouth, but one strict glare from Cullen sufficed to make him comply. Ylva's stomach fluttered excitedly. It was hard to put into words what it did to her to watch those little power games between them. And anyway, there was no time to analyse her feelings. Already, Cullen was pushing her forward until her head rested on her folded arms. She smiled, wiggling a little and he responded with a low growl, slapping her once, twice, just this side of painful. _Oh Lady, yes!_

Barris was drinking it all in, watching, _learning_ , and she knew that he was taking note of her every reaction. She had no doubt that next time he was going to put that knowledge to good use. _If there is a next time._

At Cullen's signal, Barris moved in behind her, placing both hands firmly on her hips. She felt his cock nudge against her folds, and she held her breath in anticipation. And then he was there, pushing deep inside her, and it was perfect. Glancing back over her shoulder, she saw that Cullen was embracing him from behind, supporting him and guiding his movements. It was the most arousing thing ever, both of them making love to her, both of them fully focussed on her pleasure.

Barris' strokes were swift and sure, and he felt so wonderful inside her that it was easy to let herself get carried away. All it took, in the end, was one well-placed hand between her legs – she didn't know whose, and neither did she care – and she was coming, pleasure rippling all through her body, sweet and tingling. Barris let go with a sigh of relief, thrusting harder and faster, until he, too, went limp. Cullen was still behind him, and he caught him in his arms, cradling him to his chest, while Barris regained his bearings.

Ylva rolled over on her back and watched them affectionately. They made such a pretty pair, with their contrasting colouring and their toned, muscular bodies. Cullen's shoulders were maybe a little wider, but Barris' stomach was taut with muscle, and his thighs strong and firm. _Lovely_.

Cullen was smiling almost beatifically, as he held the younger man tight. Clearly, he didn't regret what they had started here. The only question was…

"Where do we go from here?" She wasn't even aware she'd said the words aloud until she noticed them both frowning at her, their postures suddenly tense.

"What do you mean?" Cullen didn't let go of Barris, though, and that fact encouraged her to go on.

"We need to talk, Cullen." Ylva hadn't meant to have this conversation so early, but things were moving at a speed that left her little choice. "It's not fair towards Barris to just keep him guessing." She grimaced. "Why _Barris_ , anyway? Don't templars usually go by their first name?"

"True." Barris seemed relieved by the change of subject. "But I hate mine. I was named after my uncle Delrin, and I couldn't stand him, so ever since I've joined the order I've just been Barris."

"So you don't want us to call you Delrin? Or Del? No?" Ylva grinned. "Fair enough. But, no matter what we call you, we need to sort out what you are to us. And that depends on what you want to be, among other things."

Barris bit his lip. "I really don't know. I just…" He hesitated, but then he took the plunge, facing her with a determined glint in his eyes. "I care for you, both of you. Whatever this is, it's not just lust."

"No, it's not." Cullen rubbed his eyes with a weary sigh. _"_ Didn't you say your mother had some experience with this sort of thing, Ylva?"

"My mother!" Ylva actually snorted at the thought what Svarah Sun-Hair would make of all this. "My mother rarely kept her lovers around for more than a season. It's the Avvar way," she explained, when she saw the scandalized expression on Barris' face. "Life is change, and we all keep moving, in every sense of the word. Besides, it suited her, I think. She's always done exactly what she wanted, and she wouldn't want a man to interfere with her plans."

"But you're not your mother," Cullen interjected quietly.

"No, I'm not." She gave him a reassuring smile. "I'm with you, Cullen, and I want to stay with you."

It had seemed strange to her at first, all this talk of _forever_ and _always_ , but if it was what Cullen needed, she was ready to adjust. To a certain degree.

"So you're saying I need to step aside?" Barris looked very young for a moment, and very vulnerable.

"Unless we can make room for you." Ylva kept her gaze firmly on Cullen. "Because if I'm not very much mistaken, _you_ don't want this to end either. Am I right, love?"

For a heartbeat, Cullen closed his eyes, and she wondered whether she had read him correctly. But when he opened them again, he was smiling, a small, crooked smile, as if he didn't quite trust his own feelings. "You're right. I have no idea how this is going to work, but I want to try."

Grasping Barris' hand, he turned it over, so he could kiss his palm. "We will work something out."

Barris made a small, incredulous noise. "Are you sure?"

Cullen nodded silently, extending his arm to pull Ylva between the two of them.

Ylva's heart beat faster as she snuggled into their combined embrace. "Well, then. Let's talk."

* * *

 _Hugs and thanks to the best beta ever, my awesome friend suilven :)  
_


	3. Chapter 3

They were about to settle down for the night when Ylva gave a small cry of distress and hastily threw on her tunic again. "Damn it! I promised Leliana I'd come by before bedtime. Don't wait up for me, will you?"

She was already at the door, flashing a sweet smile at both of them before she disappeared and left the two men alone.

Cullen awkwardly cleared his throat as he turned to face Barris. Their… agreement, for lack of a better word, included the provision that the two of them were free to follow up on their mutual attraction without Ylva present. _Though I much prefer it if I get to watch you_ , she had added with a saucy wink. They'd rarely taken advantage of it so far, though. And now they found themselves alone in her quarters, just the two of them, with a fire burning merrily in the hearth, and the covers of the big bed pulled invitingly back. He swallowed.

Barris seemed to have read his thoughts. Making his way over to the fireplace, he leaned against the mantel and gave Cullen a long, knowing look. "Think she did it on purpose?"

"She just might have," Cullen muttered, rubbing his neck and avoiding the other man's gaze. "Wouldn't surprise me."

Barris nodded. "Is that a problem?"

And there it was. From one moment to the other, Barris' expression had turned serious, and there was genuine concern in his tone. And that, Cullen knew, was precisely why he would never be able to resist him. He could withstand even the most blatant attempts at seduction, he could harden himself against the man's sultry looks and the promise in his eyes. But there was nothing, simply nothing he could do in the face of Barris' quiet, gentle acceptance of his boundaries.

"No." Finally, he raised his gaze and met Barris' eyes. "No, it isn't. Come here."

Barris smiled, without a trace of smugness, and complied, melting into his arms. "I'm glad."

They had taken off their armour already and stripped down to their breeches, and the intense skin contact made Cullen gasp. Barris' skin was warm from the fire, and he smelled good, of soap and leather and the faintest hint of lyrium. Cullen closed his eyes, inhaling deeply, shivering when a faint echo of the old craving hit him. Barris was still taking his daily dose of lyrium, even though he knew what it was doing to him. His eyes had widened in fear when Cullen had told him it was possible to go without, and Cullen hadn't pressured him further. Maybe in time, he would gather the courage.

For now, though, Barris' whole body was buzzing with the lyrium's strange harmonies, its beguiling song, promising power and strength and, in the end, sweet oblivion. _The voice of the Maker_. Oh yes, it was tempting, even after all that time. Cullen's body responded with alarming swiftness to its call, or maybe just to Barris' proximity? It was hard to tell the difference.

Either way, he was utterly unable to resist the smooth dark column of Barris' throat. Slowly, he ran his tongue along it, tasting the saltiness of his skin, so soft behind the ears, so beautiful in the warm light of the fire. Barris made a small, helpless noise and stepped even closer, aligning himself for maximum friction, because they were both hard and eager now, with only the thin linen of their breeches separating them.

"Barris…" Cullen was dizzy with want, with anticipation, with hunger for Barris' mouth.

Their lips found each other practically of their own accord, and their kiss made the last vestiges of reason disappear. Together, they made their way to the bed, hands and mouths everywhere, teasing and exploring. Cullen's own clothes came off quickly, but he took his time with Barris' pants, slowly peeling them off to reveal him inch by inch.

Barris was staring down at his hands, panting hard. "Damn it, Cullen, stop tormenting me. I need more."

Cullen wanted to admonish him, make some sort of quip about his impatience, but he found that he couldn't. Because he, too, needed _more_. And Barris' cock was so beautiful, thick and hard and heavy in his hand. He faltered before he bent down to wrap his lips around it - the last time he'd tried this had been a lifetime ago. But all hesitation disappeared when Barris moaned deep in his throat and grabbed his head, holding him in place.

"Sweet Andraste, Cullen, you-" Another moan, deep and hungry, and his fingers tightened in Cullen's curls.

And it was the weirdest thing, because what they were doing was arousing and unsettling in equal measure. Cullen loved the taste of Barris in his mouth, salty and delicious and wonderful, but at the same time he felt strangely guilty for enjoying it. If his troops could see him like this, their commander, on his knees with his lips stretched around Barris' flesh, his eyes watering from the effort of taking him in deeper – what would they think? _It doesn't matter what they would think. It's none of their business what you do in bed_ , a small logical voice in the back of his head pointed out.

Cullen wasn't quite sure he agreed, but he did his best to shake off the irritating thoughts, and instead redoubled his efforts to make Barris beg. And Barris did so, in a hoarse, breathless tone that was music to his ears. _Cullen, yes, please, more, just a little, just a tiny bit_ … He sounded so needy, so desperate, as if he was at the end of his tether.

Involuntarily, Cullen's eyes widened as the realization struck him. _He_ was the one in charge in this scenario, for all that he was down on his knees. And Barris knew, and he submitted to it with all his heart, Barris was ready to take anything he gave him. The rush of power was overwhelming, and Cullen was tempted to withhold the longed-for release a moment longer, just to savour it. But Barris was so close already, and he was _whimpering_ now: _please, Cullen, please, I can't_ – and he gave in, sucking harder and deeper, pushing Barris over the edge.

He had just about finished swallowing when the door opened and Ylva slunk in. She looked tired and sad, and her hand was clutching a sheet of paper, so hard that her knuckles had turned white. She was trembling like a leaf, and her lips looked chapped and raw.

Pushing Barris back, Cullen was on his feet in an instant, his own arousal all but forgotten. "Bad news, love?"

* * *

Against her will, Ylva felt tears rise to her eyes. She nodded, but her voice refused to obey her.

She'd been in the middle of a pleasant chat with Leliana when the raven had arrived, its black plumes ruffled by the stormy wind outside.

"A message for you, Inquisitor." Leliana's eyebrows had shot up close to her hairline. "From the _Thane of Stone-Bear Hold_."

"My mother." She'd known instinctively that this was bad news.

Taking her leave from Leliana as quickly as she could, she'd made for a quiet spot on the battlements and read the message. It had been short and to the point. Svarah Sun-hair didn't believe in sugar-coating tragedies. _Those holes in the sky you've been dealing with in the lowlands? A few of them have opened up here, too. Our hunters got too close to one of them last night. They fought bravely against the demons, but three of them are badly injured, and Ragnar is dead. I am sorry, daughter. He died well._

There was more, other news from the hold, and things her mother felt she should know, but Ylva could no longer see clearly. Her eyes were rapidly filling with tears. She was glad she had chosen to be alone when she read the message. Out here on the battlements, with the cold wind blowing in her face, she could allow herself to cry, to grieve for her first love.

 _Ragnar_. She could still see him, in her mind's eye, the way he had looked on their last evening together. His strong, muscular body, sprawled naked on the furs of his bed, the gleam in his blue-green eyes as he pulled her down to join him. _Come, my little wolf. Let's enjoy this while it lasts, eh?_

He'd been so strong, so tall, making her feel almost petite in comparison, though she was by no means dainty. Ragnar had been a true warrior, bearded and bloodied, full of life and laughter. At least he had died as a man should, in battle, with his axe in hand. He'd also apparently taken a new wife before he died, and fathered twin sons. They would carry on his name. Still, he had been so young! And now he was dead and cold and would never laugh or fight or make love again.

Somehow, she had managed to stop crying, somehow she had made her way back to her quarters, but she was frozen through, and half her mind was still back home, caught up in memories and grief.

"Ylva?" Cullen sounded deeply concerned as he pulled her into his arms. She gladly snuggled into his warm body.

Barris had half-risen from the bed, and he, too, looked worried. "What is it?" His voice was gentle, like a caress.

Ylva's throat felt too tight to speak. "Someone died. Back home."

"Someone you cared about very much." Cullen's grip tightened further.

He led her over to the bed and made her sit down. Barris was there immediately, and they were both embracing her, both holding her.

"Yes." Taking a deep breath, she met their eyes. "Ragnar. My first husband."

They both tensed. Barris actually cried out in surprise, and Cullen's pale cheeks turned pink. "Your first- Oh. I didn't realize-"

Ylva felt a familiar surge of irritation. Sometimes it was tiring, having to explain things all the time. "Look, it's not…" She exhaled in a frustrated huff. "We got married when I was seventeen, and it only lasted three years."

"You got married at _seventeen_?" Barris winced, and she realized how all this had to sound to him, to Cullen, to both of them.

"No, you don't understand. Maybe _married_ isn't the best word to use…" Ylva sighed deeply. She wasn't ashamed of her people's customs, anything but. Still, from a lowlander perspective, this had to be weird. "Avvar marriages are temporary. We have this ceremony, where the groom has to undo several knots in a rope while the bride sings a hymn. The number of knots he manages determines how many years the marriage will last."

Cullen nodded slowly. "So him and you… you only got three knots. Three years."

"Yes." Ylva smiled, a little wistfully. "I wouldn't have minded renewing our vows after that, but my mother wouldn't have it. She said we were both too young to settle down."

"So…" Barris sounded tentative. "Were there… other husbands, beside him?"

"One. But that was different. He-" She broke off. It was too complicated to explain right now. "Ragnar was special. He was my first. And now he's dead."

"I'm so sorry." Cullen shook his head, regret clearly written on his face.

Barris nodded, his face sombre. "Me, too. I'm very sorry for your loss."

Ylva wasn't sure, but she thought she could detect a hint of reserve in his demeanour despite his words, and it made the sadness flare up again. For a moment, she desperately wished she was back home, among her own people. They would understand, they wouldn't make her defend herself at such a time.

"Look, if it bothers you that I've been married…" she said, raising her head high and glaring at both of them.

Cullen sighed, looking weary. "Ylva. It doesn't bother me at all. And I don't think Barris has a problem with it either."

He shot a meaningful look at Barris, who got the hint. "I do apologize, Ylva. We shouldn't have badgered you. We should have respected your grief."

She nodded stiffly, accepting their apologies, but she was shivering all over, partly from the cold, partly from the onslaught of emotion.

"Come to bed now." Cullen's voice was soothing. "You miss home, don't you? Do you want to talk about it?"

Ylva hesitated. Her first impulse was to snap at him, to tell him to leave her alone, but then she found, much to her own surprise, that she wanted to tell them, to make them understand.

Stretching out between them, she took a moment to collect her thoughts. "It's hard to describe. You see, life in an Avvar hold is rough. Most of the time, we barely scrape together what we need to survive. But we stick together, and we laugh and we sing a lot, and we take care of each other." Involuntarily, she smiled at the memory. "I grew up tussling for food and attention with a bunch of siblings and cousins. I was the thane's daughter, and my mother made sure all her children learned how to read and write, and do their numbers. But in the afternoons I was out and about, hunting and fishing, and learning how to fight, just like all the others."

And later there had been tussling of a different kind, but it was probably better not to go into too many details. Even before Ragnar and she had bonded, there had been plenty of exploration going on among the younger folk of the clan. And when he'd come for her at night to take her home to his hut, it had been with her full consent. The lowlanders might call them barbarians, but no Avvar man would take a wife against her inclination. They knew better.

"If that's how the Avvar teach their women to fight, we'd better beware if we ever meet them." Barris sounded awed. "I've seen you in battle, Ylva. You're amazing."

"Well, thank you." She smiled at him, momentarily forgetting her sorrow and her anger. "But I haven't just had Avvar training, you know. Cullen taught me a lot." She included him in her smile. "And so did Cassandra. And Ser offered to teach me Templar abilities, but-"

"No." Cullen's face darkened. "I don't want you to go there. Please, Ylva. You know what it cost me. It's not worth it, love."

Barris shifted uncomfortably, but didn't say a word.

Ylva sighed. "Let's not discuss this tonight. Just… Hold me, please. Both of you."

* * *

Barris wasn't sure what to make of it all. It was just too much to take in in the course of one evening, too many surprises and not all of them entirely pleasant. Cullen's hot mouth around him, driving him to distraction – now, _that_ had been amazing. He hadn't expected Cullen to be quite so good with his mouth, and he hadn't anticipated what it would do to him to see the Commander like that, lips bruised and eyes hooded as he took him in. He couldn't help but wonder what else Cullen would be willing to do, once he'd overcome his initial scruples. Barris' own experiences with other men were fairly limited, but with the right partner he could easily imagine going further.

Either way, it had been mind-blowing, and then Ylva had shown up before he'd even had time to recover, and the things she'd told them had left him both jealous and vaguely aroused. It was all too easy to imagine her with various lovers. Easy and exciting, and maddening for various reasons.

Now she was in their arms, but she needed to be comforted, and Barris did his best to clamp down on his renewed desire. Still, he kept thinking of Cullen who had been so eager, so worked up, and whose needs had been neglected so far, and that line of thought did nothing for his own peace of mind.

Ylva was wiggling between them, and he flinched as her hand brushed against his hardening cock.

"What's the matter?" Glancing up at him, she frowned. "Anything wrong?"

He stared at her in surprise. "Well, I… I assumed you had other things on your mind, and I didn't want-"

"Bullshit." Ylva's voice was as clear as a cold spring morning in the mountains. "Everyone knows that the best way to laugh death in the face is by making love. Trust me, I wouldn't get into bed with two gorgeous men if I didn't want them."

"But, love, don't you think-" Cullen's tone was warm and soothing, but it completely failed to mollify her.

"That's just it. I _don't_ want to think." She shook her head irritably. "Come on, guys. You know what I want. Or maybe…" The look she gave Barris was deliberately provocative. "Maybe Cullen has tired you out already?"

He knew what she was doing, but even so, he couldn't resist the bait. "No way."

Before she knew it, he was on top of her, grinding against her heat to let her feel how ready he was for her. And she responded with a delighted laugh, wrapping her legs around his waist to pull him even closer.

Behind her, Cullen groaned inarticulately. "Ylva. You are impossible."

"Yes. And you love it." She sounded completely unrepentant as she twisted her head to offer her lips to him.

Cullen kissed her deeply, and Barris felt his own excitement grow by the minute. Maybe Ylva was right. Maybe this was the best they could do, to banish the ghosts of the past with the heat of their love-making.

With trembling hands, Barris undid the laces on her tunic and helped her wiggle out of it, then looked on as Cullen untied her shirt and pulled it over her head. Only her breastband remained, and he took care of that, sighing along with her as the smooth flesh spilled from its confinement. He adored Ylva's breasts, had done so from the moment he'd first set sight on them, and it still took an effort to remind himself that he was allowed to touch them. Gently he cupped them with both hands, revelling in how perfectly they fit his palms, shivering with instinctive pride when her nipples grew hard under his touch.

Cullen' hand had already wandered lower, removing her pants and parting her legs with a sure touch. Ylva was moaning unrestrainedly, her eyes half closed, her cheeks flushed with lust. The mere sight of her, naked and willing in Cullen's arms would have been enough to drive a man mad.

Her eyes met his, and she smiled, and if there was a hint of sadness in her eyes, she seemed determined to ignore it. "I think it's Cullen's turn tonight." She wiggled around in their arms so she was facing Cullen, but she reached behind her with one hand to make sure he was still there. "But I want you here, Barris. I want you to watch closely."

Her tone was completely matter-of-fact, but even so, her words nearly made him come undone. But he did as he had been told. Moving in behind her he watched over her shoulder, watched as she straddled Cullen, watched Cullen slide inside her, slowly, carefully, watched Cullen's face, the way his eyes closed in utter delight.

Ylva's head sank back against his chest, and her breath was coming in quick gasps. "Cullen. Yes. So good."

For a heartbeat, Barris felt left out, almost offended by the look of bliss on her face, because _he_ wanted to be the one who put it there. He wanted to be the one responsible for those delicious little noises she was making, for the way her stomach tensed and her skin rippled with gooseflesh.

But Ylva was already taking hold of his hands, moulding them around her breasts again, and Cullen had opened his eyes, staring at them, as if it was the most exciting thing he'd ever seen. And Barris knew with sudden clarity that he wasn't just an afterthought. They wanted him here, both of them, and that knowledge was intoxicating beyond measure. In fact, if not for Cullen's earlier efforts, he would never have been able to command enough patience for this.

Cullen began to move, small, shallow thrusts at first, but they were so close together, all three of them, that Barris felt each and every one of them all the way through his body. He did his best to support Ylva, and she herself wasn't idle either, rolling her hips in perfect counterpoint to Cullen's strokes. And Barris was torn, more than he could ever recall being torn between two desires, because he wanted her so badly, but at the same time he didn't want this to end, wanted to keep looking, to soak up every detail, every expression on their faces, every twitch and shudder of their bodies.

They were moving faster now, and Ylva was moaning, clearly close, but not quite there. On impulse, Barris decided to help her along. Slowly he trailed his hand down her stomach, finding the place where their bodies were joined, shuddering again when he felt Cullen slide in and out of her. Ylva whimpered when she felt his touch, and he knew he had to be careful. He let his fingers flutter against her flesh, the faintest hint of a touch, and it was enough. She came with a stifled cry, hiding her face against his shoulder, and he was pretty sure her cheeks were wet from tears, but he wisely refrained from commenting.

Cullen followed her straight away, the urgency of his final thrusts a testimony to how fiercely he must have been holding back. Barris had a perfect view of his face as he came, and that, too, was immensely exciting.

Fortunately, they didn't keep him waiting much longer. As soon as they had recovered, they teamed up on him, and everything became a blur. In the end, he couldn't have said whose touch it was that did it, whether it was Cullen's teeth scraping his nipple or Ylva's hand tightening around his shaft, or a combination of the two. All he knew was that he was bursting, exploding, dissolving into a million little pieces, and emerging whole again, bathed in light and warmth and sweet, sweet ecstasy.

They fell asleep together in a warm, soft tangle of limbs. Ylva was the first to doze off, with Cullen a close second. Glancing down at their sleeping faces, Barris felt a painful tug at his heartstrings. This wasn't how he had ever imagined himself falling in love. As a matter of fact, this was about as far as possible from any scenario he had ever envisaged.

And yet, it felt exactly right.

* * *

 _Oh my. This is starting to show hints of plot, I believe... *lol*  
_

 _As always, huggles and thanks to my lovely beta suilven. You're the best! :)_


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